Whyyyyy do we try to prevent This? let the natural world do it’s thing. survival of the fittest. if I’m not the fittest, let me die off. fuck making suicide a crime. like what the fuck!? let all of us crazy die off because no fucking crazy person should breed. life is hard enough when… Continue reading Darwinism
And now here I am laying in bed, unable to stop the tears . I feel uncared for. who’s calling to check on me? nobody. who’s coming to visit me? nobody. who do I so desparetly yearn for? i don’t know. What do I fantasize about ? since I was a child, I’ve fantasized about… Continue reading Bed
After spending yesterday entirely by myself and calling it quits and going to bed at 630pm bc I was bored, I woke up early today and decided maybe I’ll reach out to Antonio, one of my good friends who knows I have all these issues. i was a little too last minute spontaneous as he… Continue reading
Waking up early on a day off, because you know you have somewhere to go, to be with someone who cares about you, FEELS WONDERFUL! I saw a running team filling up for gas this morning and they had so much energy and joy. made me think, hmm, maybe I could join a running team,… Continue reading Cheer
…wanting the whole world to know and understand what’s wrong with me, but being held back by the fear of what everyone will say behind my back. …not being able to make any fucking choices or decisions bc it just feels too overwhelming; what if I pick the wrong choice and I have to deal… Continue reading It’s . ..
My perfectionism and people pleasing traits just allowed me to erase my entire first paragraph because it wasn’t “good enough.” These same traits told me to not even attempt to step outside into the world today because upon awakening, I already was “too fat for the world to handle.” Most days I’m at war internally. Anxiety,… Continue reading Suffocation